Harder than we thought…

“If you’re listening, if you’re awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold ever more wonders.”

–Andrew Harvey

This quote is posted on the wall of the room where we received our foster care training; I’ve been thinking about it a lot since yesterday. When I wrote the update, the fact the our Cutie was leaving had not really sunk in yet. It’s starting to now. We are still happy that we’ve been part of this process. And seeing the look on Cutie’s dad’s face yesterday was a powerful moment for both Jason and me. But living without this little boy is going to be harder than we thought. I also keep thinking about a comment made in our foster care class.

If your heart doesn’t break when they leave, you didn’t do your job.

We fell in love with Cutie, as did our families, and that is exactly what we were supposed to do. He needed and deserved our love and we have grown tremendously as a family through this experience. Our hearts are breaking, but that means we did what we were supposed to do.
Thank you for your words of comfort, I’ve read through them several times in the past day.

On an unrelated note, I wanted to share this picture. Jason came home the other day to find Cutie wearing a tutu. (That is what happens when things are quiet around here). He immediately took Cutie to the basement to show him how to use a drill. He’s a well-rounded boy.

So here’s my question: What would YOU do if you knew you only had about a week left with one of your favorite people in all the world?

11 thoughts on “Harder than we thought…”

  1. Wow! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are so brave and strong. I know you know our experience about a little girl that we truly fell in love with and were unable to adopt her. Even though that is only 5% of what you are going through. I can’t imagine. You truly touched his life and ours by sharing your experiences. I do not know what I would do if I had a week with someone but I know that whatever you do it will be wonderful and very memorable. You guys are wonderful people and will be truly blessed.

  2. I would hold him at every moment, forget cleaning, cooking any other obligation. I’d fill that person up with so much of my love that it would last him for the rest of his life. I love you, my amazing sister!

  3. My heart has broken for you and your family each time you have gone through this. I am so thankful that you are willing to do it and there is an obvious need. I agree that you have done your job and a tremendous one at that.

    I agree with the Christie/Kristi’s though, just love that boy, there is time for crying later and I would give him all of his favorite treats and take him to his favorite places, you know him better than his dad does and it is going to take him sometime to learn what his favorite things are so it may be awhile before he gets to do them again.

    And if you need a shoulder to cry on you are more than welcome to use mine at anytime.

  4. I would love them. I would pray until I was exhausted. Pray for strength, happiness, gratitude, and patience. I am so proud of you!! I love you and your kids.
    You will be blessed for your sacrifices. Wow.. you both of so much charity. I look up to you guys so much and hope that one day I can have a relationship that you two share and a family as happy as yours.

  5. that picture is adorable and by the way, I want to cry for you. I’m so sorry about you missing him, but his dad must be so excited to get him back. You helped reunite them and focus on that. I love you guys and you’re in my prayers!

  6. As we become licensed to be a foster home ourselves, we know that we will eventually experience what you guys are going through. I can’t even imagine how you guys are feeling, or how we will feel when we have to go through it ourselves.

  7. Can I just say how much i admire you and Jason. You are providing such a wonderful home for these babies even if it is for a short time, or a shorter time than you would like. They will be blessed because they were in your home and you will be blessed because you knew them. God will bless Cutie.

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