During the weeks leading up to Elijah’s birth I was terrified the adoption would fall through, for good reason (and another and another). I wanted to make something for the baby but was anxious to start, in case we lost him.
I needed something easy, something that I wouldn’t have to think about or which could potentially add more frusration to my already distressed heart. So I knit this Super Easy Baby Blanket.
I worked on it while we watched movies or drove in the car. I worked on it at the kids’ lessons, deflecting questions about who it was for with white lies such as, “My brother-in-law and his wife are having a baby boy soon” (this was true, and it was my back-up plan to give the blanket to them if our hearts were broken again, but it was not an actual answer to the question). We hardly told anyone about Elijah until after we brought him home in an attempt to pretend it wasn’t happening, so we wouldn’t get our hopes up.
This blanket was my way to have hope without actually acknowledging how desperately we wanted this child to be ours. After all we’d been through, we were past the point of articulating our hopes and fears. All we could do was wait. Each stitch represents a prayer for this little one who took so long to join our family, and is worth every tear we shed.
I finished knitting and cast off the blanket in the hospital room while Elijah’s birthmother was in the early stages of labor. We were there with her, talking and laughing and dreaming of the boy we’d soon meet.
As we did so our lives were knit together. We will be forever indebted to that beautiful, strong young woman. And this blanket, though very simple, will serve as a reminder of a time when our countless prayers were answered.