Dear Elijah

Dear Elijah,

Baby boy, I want to remember every detail of this week.  After so many difficulties in getting you here, after setbacks and heartbreaks and disappointments, we are finally done.  You are officially ours!  It feels like you’ve been with us all along now; funny how that works.  It’s hard to imagine our lives without your huge grin, your deep dimples and your happy screeching.

Your adoption was finalized on Tuesday.  Our attorney and caseworker have been working hard to make sure everything was just right.  So there would be no question where you are meant to be.  I was slightly nervous as we sat down in the courtroom.  It reminded me of being in court on so many other (not so happy) occasions to learn what would happen with our foster babies.

But this time was also different: the feeling in the courtroom was light, the bailiff was joking around, our Kindlespire family was sitting in the gallery. We were not worried about losing you; we knew the outcome already.  The judge came in and we got right to work.  Questions and formalities were addressed.  You screeched happily through it all, and the judge caught my eye and smiled slightly. First the caseworker, and then Daddy was questioned.

After a few easy questions, the attorney asked Daddy an important one, “Over the time Elijah has been in your home, have you been able to form a bond with him?  Can you explain it?”  Daddy paused as he thought about how best to answer the question.  He smiled and tears filled his eyes.  He said, “I love this boy.  It was a long road to bring him here, but it has all been worth it.  He may not look like me, but he’s mine.  He’s my son.”

I was asked the same questions and when my turn came I answered, through my tears,” I love him.  Like Jason said, it’s been a long, difficult road.  I’m just so grateful that he’s finally here.”

The judge smiled and said he felt like our home was the best place for you to be. A few papers were signed and that was that.  We paused for a few photos with the judge, attorney, caseworker and family.  The judge held you and commented on what a beautiful baby you are.  You pulled on his facial hair and we all laughed.

We went out to brunch to celebrate and you ate your first pancake.  You loved it and said “Mmmmm…” each time I gave you a bite.

 Saturday was beautiful.  Our extended family and dear friends gathered at the Logan Temple.  You were sealed to us, or as Ellie called it “stuck to us like glue“, for eternity. You looked dapper in a darling white outfit, complete with vest and tie, sewn for you by Grandma Hillman.  You screeched and talked through the whole ceremony. For a short time you were mesmerized by the lovely chandelier.    I can still see your handsome little face glowing with light as you threw your head back and gazed up in wonder.  A moment that will live in my heart forever.

How grateful I am to know that no matter what happens in the future you are always and forever ours!   I can’t explain the feeling of comfort and peace this week has given me. I feel like the last four years of praying, waiting, hoping and disappointments have all led up to this.

My boy, you are loved. Not only did Daddy and I pray for you to join our family, but  so did many others: your siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and people you haven’t even met yet. I am certain that prayers are heard and that God has a plan for our lives.  You are living, breathing, screeching proof.

I love you,

ps–A funny side note: despite the 13 years of marriage under our belts, Daddy and I were mistaken for a couple on their wedding day several times at the temple. 🙂